Pan Pacific Hotel, Rm 1214 (Melbourne)
Thursday 30 April 2020
Given that this blog is titled “NZ 2020 – In the Wake of Captain Cook” I must start with an apology for overlooking the commemoration of the famous man’s landing at Botany Bay, NSW, 250 years ago, on April 28, just two days ago.
Having been fortunate enough to explore many of the amazing South Island locations featured on the chart Captain Cook created of New Zealand throughout the best part of 1769, it’s now a time to reflect on Cook’s achievements in charting the east coast of Australia. Sadly, I won’t be able to do it firsthand from the deck of my own wee ship as originally planned, but there’s always next year!
Having largely been in my own isolation “bubble” for much of the past 5-6 weeks, I’ve also tended to avoid the daily streams of news, from the multiple platforms, that bombards the senses and clouds the horizon.
News headlines are naturally more difficult to avoid, now I’m off the boat and back … if not in the mainstream, then certainly on the edge of the mainstream. And a name jumped out at me today from a “news feed” that had me scratching my head …
“I know that name” … “now, where do I know that name from?” I thought … I remember … when I first read the name it stuck in my mind because it’s the old name for one of Australia’s states … the most southern one … the one that’s often left off , (accidentally of course) the map of Australia. And it’s the island I sailed around last year in Chimere.
Having searched through all the “quarantine paperwork” I received three days ago, I finally spotted the name … right at the bottom of the “Direction and Detention Notice” which I was required to sign on Tuesday … next to an official title … “Name of Authorised Officer” … Dr Annaliese van Diemen … who just happens to be the Deputy Chief Health Officer for our own state of Victoria.
Now, I’m sure Annaliese has her hands full right now, helping to manage the state’s response to the current crisis, but it didn’t stop her unapologetically expressing the ‘helpful’ view that … and I paraphrase … “the arrival of Captain Cook 250 years ago in 1770 can be equated to the arrival of the COVID-19 virus in 2020.” Wow! It’s enough to make you want to go back to sea. It’s really hard to know where to start with a statement like that, truly.
I’m just hoping that her “Dr” title has something to do with medicine, or public health, because I’m thinking that her attentions would best be served there. And not engaging in woke revisionist political commentary. Just say’n!
Focusing now on more useful news … my groceries arrived today, just a day after ordering them online. Around 10:30 I received a call from the front desk, informing me that Room Service would be dropping them off soon.
While I was on the phone, I took the opportunity to ask if I might be able to have a bowl and plate, plus some cutlery. As you can understand, making a cheese and tomato sandwich, or eating a bowl of cereal, is very tricky without that sort of stuff.
Anyway, after initially agreeing to the delivery of some crockery and eat’n irons, I got a call back a short time later, informing me that … “We can only provide the bowl and plate, and plastic cutlery, according to DHS regulations” … that’s the Department of Health Services for the uninitiated. And at this point in the discussion you have two choices … and so I chose the “nice” one and said … “no worries, that would great, thank you…”
Ever tried to slice a tomato with a dinky plastic knife – best found in a child’s play-set … albeit a serrated dinky plastic knife?
What DHS don’t know, of course … and I’m only telling you this because I trust that you won’t spill the beans, is that this is a 5-Star hotel room, and what 5-Star hotel room isn’t equipped with a multi-tool, corkscrew and sharp knife combo – for opening bottles of expensive bubbly and the like, of course?
As it turns out, bottle-opening-multi-tool-knives aren’t ideal, but they do a reasonable job of slicing tomatoes and cutting cheese.
Section 5 of my Direction and Detention Notice, says that my … “Detention will be reviewed at least once every 24 hours for the period that I am in detention…” No doubt that’s what lies behind the phone call I receive each day from the resident hotel nurse. “Hello Mr Latimer … are you exhibiting any COVID-19 symptoms today” she asks in a chirpy, upbeat tone … “No, sorry, not today,” I reply
Rather than scratch numbers on the wall of my hotel room, I have taken to marking off each day with a pen on Pan Pacific notepaper, which I’ve propped-up on the ledge near the hotel phone.
And I’m already starting to get a little confused with the days … but I figure that if I came in on the 27th, and it’s now the 30th, then it means my three vertical lines are correct – I’ve already done three nights, and tonight will be my fourth. That’s 21% of the total time served, with just 79% to go! That’s still a few sleeps to go. It’s like being a 5-year-old again, waiting for Christmas day … time travels sooo slowly.
Smooth seas, fair breeze and the groceries came through !
Rob Latimer
NZ2020 