Pan Pacific Hotel, Rm 1214 (Melbourne)
Saturday 9 May 2020
The phone call around 9:30 this morning was most unexpected. “Hello Mr Latimer, you’re down for a fresh-air-break today, around 6:30-7:00pm. Is that OK with you?” … I was caught a bit off guard, and simply said, “Ah, yeah, that would be great, thanks … bye”. Of course, I’d forgetting to check my diary. ‘Cos after all, 6:30 to 7:00pm is when I usually “dine”. And who knows, I might have had some other appointments too if I’d checked …
So, the day started all crazy and topsy-turvy-like, with the prospect of another 10-minute fresh-air-break in a matter of days. AND the likelihood that dinner would be arriving at the same time. Talk about excitement, and I had the entire day for anticipation to build – but that still didn’t stop me setting the alarm for 6:25pm, just in case I forgot. It’s what us “older people” do.
Breakfast consisted mainly of a slice of quiche, which was really tasty. It’s been served up for breakfast a few times now, not the same one … I’m guessing they make a new one every now and then. But it’s really filling, with the density of a caramel slice, plus a garnish, comprising a a couple of twigs of a green plant and small bits of chopped tomato – just a little bit fancy really!
Now, I promised a long time ago that I wouldn’t turn this blog into a virtual food-show, but while I’m on the topic … lunch was something of a disappointment. In a sense, the hand writing on the bag should have put me on-notice that something was wrong. At the time I didn’t read what the writing said, but the thought crossed my mind, “… oh look, they’ve started re-using bags … cool”
The meal itself was in the usual plastic takeaway tub, but I’d barely got down one spoonful before I was at my fridge pulling out the ingredients to make a cheese, ham and tomato sandwich. I’m sure there are some people out there who would have looked at it and thought … “Oh Yum … cold pumpkin and couscous, with flakes of bitter kale [or whatever it was] and chunks of broccoli, again!” … but I’m not one of them.
It’s funny, again, while I’m on a roll with food … tonight’s dinner did come at the same time as I was being escorted out for my walkies … and the nice bloke with the food trolley stacked up with brown paper bags said … “would you like me to bring it back in half an hour. I’ll keep it warm” … which he did. So when I finally got tonight’s tucker- bag, I saw that he’d written 1214 on the bag. Sensible move I thought! You won’t forget my room number
It’s then that I noticed the writing on the lunchtime bag. I looked a bit closer and read … “1201 1x G.F. No Lunch”
Strange that a lunch-bag would have “No Lunch” written on it … but 1201 definitely isn’t my room, and G.F. certainly didn’t stand for “Great Food” … not even “Good Food”.
So, at the moment, my working hypothesis is that … there’s an outside chance I got the wrong lunch-bag and that whoever is in room 1201 prefers a gluten free diet. As for me, I tend to favour foods with the label … “NOW WITH MORE GLUTEN”. In addition, if the person in room 1201 ate my lunch by mistake, it might explain whatever adverse symptoms they are currently suffering.
It was fun to be able to mark the 12th day off my wall-chart, which means there are only two sleeps to go.
I refrained from watching too many YouTube videos today, resorting instead to watching the Lion King movie – in the middle of the day – on the big screen, in my room … of course it was in my room! Where else. Then, after the movie I fell asleep … like a tired baby Simba. Such decadence!
Later this afternoon, there was still time to work on the computer, putting ideas together for the making of a short video on the Vanuatu tooth brushing program “Gudfala Tut”. Of course an important part of this process, was looking online for examples of similar “promo” productions. It’s not called plagiarizing … we prefer to think of it as “market research”.
The message we are promoting with our Vanuatu partners, is the importance of a … “brushing of teeth in schools” program, to help address, chronic tooth decay and gum disease. There’s every chance you’ve heard me talk about the work we are doing in Vanuatu, through Medical Sailing Ministries Inc, and the North Ringwood Uniting Church, again, in partnership with local Vanuatu partners, (including the Vanuatu Directorate of Public Health), but if not, feel free to check it out here …
Anyway, while I was checking out “promotional videos”, doing market research, I came across a few absolutely fantastic videos. Admittedly, the videos are NOT exactly what they seemed at first glance, and were produced by a bunch of whacky Norwegians to rightly highlight the dis-empowering effect of stereotypes. Check them out, and maybe you’ll enjoy than as much as I did …
As I mentioned, my dinner was dropped off at 6:30 tonight, at exactly the same time as my “minder” came to escort me out of the building for my fresh-air break.
Being my second run-off-the-leash, I kind of knew the routine and once we’d got to the hotel’s front mat, the “masked man” indicated to the right that I could walk as far as the end of the concourse, and as he indicated to the left I mentioned … “to the Polly Woodside?”
And it’s at this point that the ensuing “misunderstanding” probably originated. Because I took his “yes” as meaning that I could walk as far as the Polly Woodside ship (and that rough vicinity) so long as I’m back in the allowed 10 minutes – like I had the other day … whereas, in his mind, he thought in that direction, but probably only about 200 metres; and no further.
As I blithely walked off, completely un-escorted and on my own, I turned and said … “what time is it?”, whereupon he showed me his phone and said, 6:30. We’d already established I had 10 minutes, so off I wandered.
And let me say, it was cold outside tonight!! I had a jumper on, but I’d only been gone a couple of minutes and the thought crossed my mind … “I’m not sure I need this much fresh air … I might go back inside” … see what institutionalization does to you!?
I got to the Polly Woodside soon enough, took a few photos, then thought … “gotta get a few pictures from the other side of the foot-bridge”… which I did, as you can see below.
Returning at exactly 6:40pm, I started making my way back through the sliding front doors, when a couple of Green Hi-Vis blokes (who I took to be a higher rank than the orange Hi-Vis bloke who had initially brought me down in the lift) came from the other direction, calling out to me and looking a little agitated.
“You are only supposed to stay in this area”, he snapped. “But I told this guy I was going to the Polly Woodside, just like I did the other day. And he said yes”, I replied, starting to pick up on their tension.
There were a few other exchanges back and forth which I don’t recall in detail, but I got the impression they’d been looking for me because my orange Hi-Vis guy (who I suspected had got into trouble) made the sheepish comment as we were returning across the hotel lobby, “we thought you’d escaped”.
So apparently, I had unknowingly “transgressed the unwritten law” … to borrow a line from a certain Monty Python sketch. (If you’ve got a second, look those four words up online – it was a classic)
And I innocently thought that all I needed to do was be back within the allotted 10 minutes … not so. You also need to remain within the Pan Pacific Playpen, bounded by the circular drive out front.
I suppose it’s a good thing I’m getting out in two days, cos I may have just scored a black mark against my name?!
Smooth seas, fair breeze and more fresh air
Rob Latimer
NZ2020 
I do hope they don’t make you start another 14 days just in case!!!
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